Trust is a critical element of any relationship, including the one with yourself. In its presence, we can feel a sense of stability, safety, and belonging. In its absence, we can feel disconnect, hurt, and alone. It’s natural for people to trust one another but when it’s broken, it can feel difficult to repair.
When in recovery, restoring trust can seem like an impossible feat, but it’s at the very core of the process. Substance misuse can add strain to relationships and often to the ones that matter the most. Although it may take time, restoring trust is a possibility that you can explore.
There are likely many people you want to reconnect with again and the process can look different from one person to the next. It’s important to provide space and allow the person to approach rebuilding the relationship at their own pace and not take offense if it’s not on your timeline. While reconciling with past friends and family members, begin restoring trust in yourself. Establish ways you can rebuild yourself and offer yourself patience while healing.
The following are some ways you can begin restoring trust within yourself and loved ones.
5 Ways You Can Restore Trust
Broken relationships and feeling mistrusted can create a sense of guilt and shame. While in recovery, this can create an immense feeling of stress and leave you feeling unsure of where you stand. These feelings can distract you from the recovery process and may affect how you create opportunities for change.
Repairing a once healthy relationship can provide a sense of relief and rekindle a fulfilling relationship that can provide you both with joy and meaningful shared experiences. To get started restoring trust in yourself and those around you, consider trying some of these tips
Restore Trust in Yourself
One of the most important persons you can rebuild trust in is yourself. It may feel as though you’ve never had much trust in yourself and if this is the case, it’s time to build some. Self-doubt can make recovery a challenge. When you work on providing yourself forgiveness, you can build resilience and trust that you can then provide to others.
Self-trust can often prove difficult during recovery from substance use disorders. Many take on a victim mentality and dwell on past mistakes and how others may have created a harmful situation or didn’t do enough to help. This kind of thinking keeps you stuck in an unhealthy feedback loop. To hop off this crazy roller coaster, create new habits that can help you become the person you want to be. Mindfulness, hobbies, and working on a positive outlook can help counteract this negative feedback loop and create trust within.
While it may seem obvious, it means a lot to a person when they hear someone own up to their mistakes. When we acknowledge our wrongdoings or hurtful things that were said and done, it shows taking responsibility for own actions. This can go a long way in relationships as can offering a sincere apology.
When acknowledging wrongdoings, it doesn’t necessarily mean immediate acceptance. For some, it can take some time to fully recover from hurt or harm. This is a normal response and try not to take it personally. Continue showing up for them and let them know you are committed to restoring a mutual relationship of honesty.
Stay True to Your Word
Speak truthfully and maintain integrity. When restoring trust, the last thing you want to do is slip up. Yes, we’re all human and we all make mistakes, but if a friend or loved one has lost trust in connection with a substance use disorder, a slip up can be detrimental. Even a small white lie can prove a quick downfall in restoring trust.
When trying to earn back trust, it’s important to keep your word. When you commit to something, stay committed. And when there comes a time you can’t follow through, speak up about it. When we keep lines of communication open, it can lessen the effects of disappointment and create a space of forgiveness.
Open Lines of Communication
Addiction can cause people to withdraw from friends and friendly. When this happens, it creates a lot of worry and anxiety among close friends and loved ones.
During the early stages of recovery, you may find friends and family checking in frequently. It may come across as a burden, but they mean well. When you make yourself available, it helps those who love and support you stay connected and rebuild trust. Show interest and let them know how you’re doing. If you find the intent of communication disheartening, negative, or affecting your mindset towards sobriety, let them know. While many are available to offer support, there can be those who just aren’t ready, and you can allow yourself a break from restoring a dysfunctional or toxic relationship.
Patience is not something that comes easily to everyone. While in recovery, patience is a virtue to practice every day. Practice patience with yourself and with those around you. Once you apply patience and gain trust in yourself, it can become easier to exercise patience with others.
If patience is something new for you (And trust that you’re not the only one!), there are ways you can slow the need for instant gratification. Try to be mindful of times when you feel inpatient. Are you taking on more than you can reasonably handle? Prioritize and shift your focus to one thing before moving on to the next. Sometimes simply slowing down can help improve patience.
Restore Your Joy of Living with Pura Vida Drug and Alcohol Rehabilitation Program
Pura Vida Recovery Services provides evidence-based addiction treatment that emphasizes recovery, community, and accountability. Through comprehensive outpatient programs and Sober Living accommodations, Pura Vida helps men and women restore the natural joys that a life of sobriety can provide.