Supporting a loved one with a substance use disorder (SUD) can be a challenging experience. While your support can make all the difference in your loved one getting the help they need, it’s also important to know that you can’t choose sobriety for them. It’s up to the individual to admit their problem, seek help, and be willing to put in the work. In the meantime, you’ll need to establish healthy boundaries and take care of your needs.
Below are some self-care tips for families of individuals with SUD. These tips will help you maintain your health and emotional balance while assisting your loved one through addiction recovery.
Educate Yourself About Substance Use Disorders
Understanding the nature of SUD can alleviate some of the stress and confusion with it. Oftentimes, families blame themselves for addiction, but this disorder is far more complex than this. Addiction is caused by a combination of genetics and your overall environment, along with other factors such as personality, lifestyle, underlying mental health conditions, lack of family involvement, and early use. It’s important to know that addiction is no one’s fault.
Learning the facts about addiction and how to treat it will help you develop realistic expectations for this journey, while also being able to offer your loved one the compassion they need. No one makes the conscious choice to become addicted to substances. Instead, they experiment with drugs, alcohol, or both and then grow dependent on these substances to function and feel normal, leading to SUD. Fortunately, addiction is treatable.
Set Boundaries
Boundaries are your friend. Some people have an easier time setting them than others, so if you struggle to do so, seek support from a therapist, counselor, or other trained mental health professional. Boundaries are meant to protect you and show people what is okay and what is not, so think about what behaviors are unacceptable. For example, you might decide that your loved one needs to be home by a certain time or contribute to the monthly bills.
Once you decide what boundaries you’d like to set, clearly communicate them to your loved one. Stick to your boundaries at all times, even if your loved one is begging you to let things go just this once. If you go against your boundaries even one time, it shows that they are negotiable. Decide what consequences will follow if your rules are broken and make sure to follow through with them. For instance, if your loved one doesn’t come home one night, they may be asked to move out or be removed from family activities.
Join a Support Group
Connecting with others who understand your situation can provide comfort and insight. Being in a family with substance use can be lonely and isolating, so it’s helpful to have people in your life who you can talk to. Al-Anon and Nar-Anon are groups that offer support for families with drug or alcohol addiction. They are available in most areas for free. You can also look for local support groups or therapy sessions for family members, as well as engage in online forums and communities for additional support.
Practice Self-Compassion
It’s essential to be kind to yourself during this difficult time. Acknowledge your feelings—it’s normal to feel angry, resentful, frustrated, embarrassed, depressed, etc. Don’t push these emotions away. Allow yourself to feel a range of emotions without judgment. Avoid self-blame and remember that you are not responsible for your loved one’s addiction. Also be sure to celebrate your own efforts and progress in managing the situation.
Engage in Healthy Activities
Maintaining a healthy lifestyle can boost your resilience and emotional well-being. Make time to do the things you love, such as physical activities like walking or yoga, eating a balanced diet, and getting enough rest each night. Sometimes, family members “punish” themselves for their loved one’s addiction, believing that if their loved one is not happy, they can’t be either. However, your happiness can’t depend on someone else, and vice versa. Taking care of yourself is the best thing you can do right now. When your loved one is ready to seek drug or alcohol rehab, you’ll have the energy and stamina to support them.
Stay Positive and Hopeful
People with SUD can get better. However, they need to acknowledge their problem and seek help first. For many people, this takes time. They don’t necessarily have to reach rock bottom, but they do need to be uncomfortable. Until this happens, your loved one might continue using substances despite the harm they are causing. This is why boundaries and consequences are so important. If you continue to clean up your loved one’s messes, they will have no reason to change. Believe in your loved one and their ability to admit their problem and seek recovery.
Addiction Treatment in Santa Rosa, CA
Loving someone with a substance use disorder is a difficult position to be in. You will always love them, but the person they are when they are under the influence is very different. By following the tips above, you can approach this situation with more empathy and understanding. Remember, your well-being is just as important as your loved one’s recovery. To learn more about the programs available at Pura Vida Recovery, contact our team today.
