Approaching someone with an addiction requires sensitivity, empathy and a willingness to provide support. However, people who abuse drugs and alcohol are usually not the best communicators. You may find yourself struggling to get through to your loved one, even though you’re showing love and compassion.

Fortunately, there are steps you can take to ensure you uphold respect and empathy without enabling your loved one’s addiction. Below are some effective strategies on how to talk to someone with addiction.

Choose the Right Time and Setting

Avoid having a serious conversation out of the blue. Find a quiet and private space to talk where both you and your loved one feel comfortable. This could be in your home, or it could be in a neutral space, such as a church, community center or therapist’s office. You want to avoid places that could be a trigger for your loved one.

Additionally, pick a time when your loved one is most likely to be calm and receptive. You don’t want to have an emotional conversation with someone who is drunk, high or crashing.

Express Concern, Not Judgment

People who use drugs and alcohol typically assume they have things under control. Therefore, when you question them about their substance use, they’re likely to get defensive. While you can’t stop your loved one from denying their problem, you can help the conversation move along more productively when you express concern instead of judgment.

Begin the conversation by expressing your concern for your loved one’s well-being. Also, be sure to avoid judgmental language or blaming statements, as these can trigger defensiveness. Instead, use “I” statements to share your feelings and observations. For example, you can say, “I’ve noticed changes in your behavior that worry me,” instead of “you’re acting differently.”

Listen Actively

Give your loved one the opportunity to share their experiences and feelings. Listen without interrupting and validate their emotions. This shows that you genuinely care and are taking the time to understand their situation. By choosing the right time and place, the hope is that your loved one will open up to you.

Educate Yourself on Addiction

There are a lot of myths and misconceptions about addiction, which is why education is crucial. Take some time to educate yourself on addiction, its challenges and the available treatment options. Addiction is a chronic disorder that often involves relapse. But people can get better.

Share the information you’ve learned with your loved one to show that you’ve done your research and understand what the disease is doing to them. Addiction is not a choice, nor a moral failing. Education can help us be more compassionate to individuals fighting addiction, as well as develop realistic expectations for the recovery process.

Express Empathy and Support

It’s not always easy to be supportive to someone who is abusing drugs and alcohol, lying, stealing and hurting others. But it’s important to remember that addiction is a disease that involves compulsive seeking and taking of a substance despite negative consequences.

Let your loved one know that you care about their well-being and want to support them. Offer encouragement and assure them that seeking help is a sign of strength. Plus, by getting better, they can heal from other issues that may have been hurting them all their life, such as trauma, mental illness or low self-esteem.

Avoid Ultimatums – Set Boundaries Instead

Refrain from issuing ultimatums or making threats, as these can lead to defensiveness and resistance. Instead, establish clear and healthy boundaries. For example, if your loved one doesn’t agree to professional drug and alcohol treatment, they have to leave your home. You should also refrain from enabling behaviors, such as giving your loved one money, making excuses for them or bailing them out of trouble.

Seek Professional Treatment Services in Santa Rosa CA

Talking to someone with an addiction requires a delicate balance of empathy, understanding and encouragement. By approaching the conversation with compassion and providing support without judgment, you can play a crucial role in helping your loved one take the first steps toward recovery.

Pura Vida Recovery offers drug and alcohol rehabilitation services in Santa Rosa CA. We are focused on helping individuals succeed in recovery by building strong support systems, practicing accountability and finding their life purpose. Contact our admissions team to learn more about starting the process to recovery.